Oh.
Oh, hi.
I really hate to have left off and disappeared after that last blog. If I hadn't been all over every other social networking site (ugh), it'd have been safe assume my brain had exploded and I died.
But alas, here I am.
I've been thinking about something lately. I would like to share this piece of information with you. Would you like to be indulged?
Great!
I find that I cannot concentrate on one thing anymore. There's always something else (or a few things) going on in my brain at the same time. I think this has been the cause of much of my stress-- aside from the fact that things *are* stressful lately. Yes, I have 14 papers to write in the next 6 weeks, but I've found a sort of balance. I think I'll be okay on the school front.
But my lack of concentration extends to, well, everything. Even if I'm watching a movie, I'm thinking about other things. For example, I just watched Fight Club because it came in from Netflix. I had just read the book last month and was eager to watch the film again. I could barely focus on it. I fast forwarded the last 45 minutes.
The same goes for really happy moments in my life. i.e. visiting Cade in Florida. I want to do so many things there (we make so many fun plans) but by the time I get there, there's so much in my head that I get tired and we don't do very much at all. I ruin things that way. We enjoy our time together, but we don't do so much.
Just a couple of examples.
Long story short, I struggle to live in the moment. I'm always waiting to finish my next thing. Before I know it, I'll be graduated from college (DECEMBER '10 BABY!!!!), and then LIFE starts. You know, the rest of my life. The FuTuRe. What then?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
too much
What do you do when you're so overwhelmed you can hardly think?
You blog, of course!
Only after having a drink in the city with Caitlin. She is wonderful and I love her.
So, things are catching up with me lately. After the most stressful month I couldn't have even imagined, I thought I was getting a break. This week started off gently. I was horribly busy, but in regards to homework it seemed as though the huge blow of assignments that I trudged though 1-2 weeks ago was the worst of it. I could finally breathe.
How very wrong I was (sounds like the transition in a synopsis of a novel at the third grade reading level, doesn't it?).
It's just been constant. In four days, I was assigned four new papers. I still have work 1-2 days during the week, and then at my other job on the weekends.
And I'm the fool who can't turn down an offered shift for some extra money.
Stupidly enough, I thought I had picked up an extra shift for TODAY, not next Friday. So after class today, exhausted, I took the 45-minute trip to work, only to find out I had the day wrong.
I've wasted five hours of today. Five hours that could've been spent really getting these papers on a roll. Five hours that could have been spent napping and outlining papers. Five hours that I could have regained some sanity.
Instead, my heart is racing so fast that my body is shaking. After spending years during which that was a daily occurrence, I really hate it.
Now, I have two options:
A. Go to a coffee shop, suck down some coffee (and possibly worsen the aforementioned racing heart) and get work done, or
B. Try and take a short nap, THEN suck down some coffee (and probably have a steadier heart).
I'll probably go for the latter.
I really don't mean to complain, but sometimes if I write everything down, my mind becomes a little more organized and a little less manic.
<3
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
cashews by credit
I've just returned from the Ukraine, an infamous market within our group of friends here in Melissa-land, having just made my first credit card purchase.
A handful of unsalted cashews and a pack of Orbit Lime Melon gum. Pretty solid. I had cash on me, but I've been itching to use my credit card, just to say I have. I'm excited to build credit, even if it's five dollars per month at a time. Baby steps.
My hair has been nice to me lately. When I wake up, it looks mermaid-ish (because mermaids are real and have just-out-of-the-ocean waves and wispy ends). My hair is finally hitting it's preferred length.
Side note: I'm talking to Cade online right now, and he commented that his dinner from Taco Bell is spicy. I got jealous because I love spicy things, and then I decided to put cayenne pepper on my cashews. It's wonderful. My mouth is burning with happiness... and some pain.
I'm very happy and settled in Melissa's beautiful apartment. I'm warm and comfortable and happy. It's fastest to get to my school to walk there, seeing as the train station over there is currently undergoing construction (bastards). So, I walk 2 miles to school. When I get there, I feel energized and awake. It's a good feeling.
That's really all I have for now. Just wanted to pop in and get some writing in. Must be decent seeing as I got among the highest grades on an 8-page paper on the documentary Food, Inc.
Yeah, I just wanted to throw that in there somehow.
A handful of unsalted cashews and a pack of Orbit Lime Melon gum. Pretty solid. I had cash on me, but I've been itching to use my credit card, just to say I have. I'm excited to build credit, even if it's five dollars per month at a time. Baby steps.
My hair has been nice to me lately. When I wake up, it looks mermaid-ish (because mermaids are real and have just-out-of-the-ocean waves and wispy ends). My hair is finally hitting it's preferred length.
Side note: I'm talking to Cade online right now, and he commented that his dinner from Taco Bell is spicy. I got jealous because I love spicy things, and then I decided to put cayenne pepper on my cashews. It's wonderful. My mouth is burning with happiness... and some pain.
I'm very happy and settled in Melissa's beautiful apartment. I'm warm and comfortable and happy. It's fastest to get to my school to walk there, seeing as the train station over there is currently undergoing construction (bastards). So, I walk 2 miles to school. When I get there, I feel energized and awake. It's a good feeling.
That's really all I have for now. Just wanted to pop in and get some writing in. Must be decent seeing as I got among the highest grades on an 8-page paper on the documentary Food, Inc.
Yeah, I just wanted to throw that in there somehow.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
i moved!
Here I am, settled in a lovely apartment that I'll be residing in for the next two and a half months. Having crashed here before for an extended period of time, it didn't take long to put everything in it's place. Seriously. We're talkin' ten minutes or so to be unpacked.
The move went extremely smoothly. I got home from work yesterday, procrastinated packing, eventually packed, and the mover (with the help of Molly, Caitlin, Angelo, and Angelo) got everything in his van in less than 45 minutes. If you are ever moving in the NYC metro area, I highly recommend Lightning Van movers, as does everyone else on Yelp.
I rode with the mover to my house in Pennsylvania, where he unloaded everything in about twenty minutes. He was on his way back to the city by 11:30pm. Golden.
I spent hours trying to organize my bedroom. HOURS. Both late last night and this morning/early afternoon. By the time I left my house this afternoon, I had three enormous bags of trash, two trash bags full of clothes to donate, and a bag of broken down boxes and other paper products to be recycled.
My room is really coming along, but I haven't even TOUCHED the stuff I brought in from my NYC apartment. There just wasn't any time. For now, it will all remain in my brother's vacant bedroom until Spring break, during which I'll spend days getting it all sorted.
I should also mention: A majority of my Harry Potter memorabilia has been put together in a bin to be held in storage in my basement, along with just two or so posters. The rest of the posters and things have met their end in the trash. Same with my Lord of the Rings stuff.
It's just time.
My mom is thrilled to be redecorating my room. New carpet, paint on the walls, etc. It will look classy and nice for the first time in countless years. I was an obsessed adolescent, bathing my walls with whatever the current fascination was. Now, it will be clean, symmetrical, and decorated with things like framed pictures and art.
I'm all grown up!
...and officially with an activated credit card.
I'm so legit.
The move went extremely smoothly. I got home from work yesterday, procrastinated packing, eventually packed, and the mover (with the help of Molly, Caitlin, Angelo, and Angelo) got everything in his van in less than 45 minutes. If you are ever moving in the NYC metro area, I highly recommend Lightning Van movers, as does everyone else on Yelp.
I rode with the mover to my house in Pennsylvania, where he unloaded everything in about twenty minutes. He was on his way back to the city by 11:30pm. Golden.
I spent hours trying to organize my bedroom. HOURS. Both late last night and this morning/early afternoon. By the time I left my house this afternoon, I had three enormous bags of trash, two trash bags full of clothes to donate, and a bag of broken down boxes and other paper products to be recycled.
My room is really coming along, but I haven't even TOUCHED the stuff I brought in from my NYC apartment. There just wasn't any time. For now, it will all remain in my brother's vacant bedroom until Spring break, during which I'll spend days getting it all sorted.
I should also mention: A majority of my Harry Potter memorabilia has been put together in a bin to be held in storage in my basement, along with just two or so posters. The rest of the posters and things have met their end in the trash. Same with my Lord of the Rings stuff.
It's just time.
My mom is thrilled to be redecorating my room. New carpet, paint on the walls, etc. It will look classy and nice for the first time in countless years. I was an obsessed adolescent, bathing my walls with whatever the current fascination was. Now, it will be clean, symmetrical, and decorated with things like framed pictures and art.
I'm all grown up!
...and officially with an activated credit card.
I'm so legit.
Friday, February 26, 2010
a good day
I'm in a great mood so, naturally, I've decided to blog while rocking out to Miley Cyrus's Party in the USA.
Today was such a wonderful day. I woke up at 7:15am to get ready for class after going to sleep way too late. I thought it was a long shot, but I checked my school's website to see if classes were cancelled due to the weather.
They were.
I went back to sleep and woke up at 11am, texted the woman I babysit for and asked if she'd still need me today.
She didn't.
Just after I finished making my bed and was about to hop in the shower, Molly called and asked if I would join her, Felicia, and Caitlin for lunch at a great coffee shop up the block. We stayed for over two hours just chatting (aside from Felicia who had to catch a flight home!) and I even got some studying done.
Afterward, I packed all my food, some shoes, and shower/toiletries to trek out to Brooklyn so I wouldn't have to tomorrow. Through the snow and deep slush puddles at each corner carrying at least 100 pounds of stuff... it was one of the most physically demanding things I've ever done. My hands were screaming with impending blisters, my arms wanted to rip from their sockets, etc.
I made it.
Upon arrival, I couldn't bring myself to get home and pack. SO. We watched the first disc of season three of How I Met Your Mother (wonderful, as always) and ordered Thai food for dinner.
I came home with my light, empty suitcase, stopping only to get some quality boxes from a wine shop on my way home, and took a hot shower.
So here I am, long day behind me, showered and fresh, ready to get some packing done. Sure, it's a little late and I have work in the morning, but I feel good.
And Miley keeps it going.
<3
Today was such a wonderful day. I woke up at 7:15am to get ready for class after going to sleep way too late. I thought it was a long shot, but I checked my school's website to see if classes were cancelled due to the weather.
They were.
I went back to sleep and woke up at 11am, texted the woman I babysit for and asked if she'd still need me today.
She didn't.
Just after I finished making my bed and was about to hop in the shower, Molly called and asked if I would join her, Felicia, and Caitlin for lunch at a great coffee shop up the block. We stayed for over two hours just chatting (aside from Felicia who had to catch a flight home!) and I even got some studying done.
Afterward, I packed all my food, some shoes, and shower/toiletries to trek out to Brooklyn so I wouldn't have to tomorrow. Through the snow and deep slush puddles at each corner carrying at least 100 pounds of stuff... it was one of the most physically demanding things I've ever done. My hands were screaming with impending blisters, my arms wanted to rip from their sockets, etc.
I made it.
Upon arrival, I couldn't bring myself to get home and pack. SO. We watched the first disc of season three of How I Met Your Mother (wonderful, as always) and ordered Thai food for dinner.
I came home with my light, empty suitcase, stopping only to get some quality boxes from a wine shop on my way home, and took a hot shower.
So here I am, long day behind me, showered and fresh, ready to get some packing done. Sure, it's a little late and I have work in the morning, but I feel good.
And Miley keeps it going.
<3
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
morning greetings
I know I updated like, 5 minutes ago, but what I want to say is more than 140 characters and therefore too long for a mere twitter update (yes, still refusing to use the socially accepted term for "twitter update").
I'm very tired. I went to sleep a little after 4am, and I was awoken by my heating pipe apparently being beaten with a metal bat and other such objects. No, seriously. I do not know how these sounds were physically possible.
Long story short: I'm on a few hours of sleep.
I have classes all day, then I'm going straight to work. I have to watch a film tonight so I can write a 5-7 page paper on it all day tomorrow, due in the evening. Then I have to move.
BUT. My main point is: I'm feeling motivated. Well, not so much motivated as I am... accepting. I want this semester to be over ASAP. I want my college career to be over ASAP. But until then, I'm going to kick this semester's ass. It's likely I will complain, but I'll come out of this alive AND with good grades.
So.
PS. I've been meaning to say this for a while. I've been really appreciate of the comments on my blog. I frequently reply to them in my mind. Is there no way to reply to comments on blogger? So sad. I read them all!
I'm very tired. I went to sleep a little after 4am, and I was awoken by my heating pipe apparently being beaten with a metal bat and other such objects. No, seriously. I do not know how these sounds were physically possible.
Long story short: I'm on a few hours of sleep.
I have classes all day, then I'm going straight to work. I have to watch a film tonight so I can write a 5-7 page paper on it all day tomorrow, due in the evening. Then I have to move.
BUT. My main point is: I'm feeling motivated. Well, not so much motivated as I am... accepting. I want this semester to be over ASAP. I want my college career to be over ASAP. But until then, I'm going to kick this semester's ass. It's likely I will complain, but I'll come out of this alive AND with good grades.
So.
PS. I've been meaning to say this for a while. I've been really appreciate of the comments on my blog. I frequently reply to them in my mind. Is there no way to reply to comments on blogger? So sad. I read them all!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
c-c-changes
A lot has happened since I got to Florida on Thursday.
Essentially, a bad living situation has been addressed, and I'll be moving out on Saturday. So while down here in Florida, I've been making plans with movers and friends and some more friends about getting out of this apartment as soon as humanly possible. I didn't think it was going to happen until the end of March, but thankfully I have amazing friends who will help me out. I'll be living in Brooklyn for the remainder of the semester and avoiding a lot of conflict.
I may or may not make a passive video without details or names that kind of gives the general idea of what's been going on at my NYC apartment.
In the long run, this move is going to result in: saving around $2000 in rent and utilities, living in a warm apartment and will no longer need 6 blankets, a school commute cut from over an hour to under a half hour, getting more sleep, no longer becoming stressed at home after being stressed at school, and most importantly, I'll be much happier.
The next time I move, it'll be to this very apartment I'm staying in in Florida no later than December 2010.
So anyway.
I'm still in Florida, but I'll be leaving tonight. Cade is still in class, but he'll be home soon. We'll have seven hours to hold on to until next time, whenever that may be.
<3
Essentially, a bad living situation has been addressed, and I'll be moving out on Saturday. So while down here in Florida, I've been making plans with movers and friends and some more friends about getting out of this apartment as soon as humanly possible. I didn't think it was going to happen until the end of March, but thankfully I have amazing friends who will help me out. I'll be living in Brooklyn for the remainder of the semester and avoiding a lot of conflict.
I may or may not make a passive video without details or names that kind of gives the general idea of what's been going on at my NYC apartment.
In the long run, this move is going to result in: saving around $2000 in rent and utilities, living in a warm apartment and will no longer need 6 blankets, a school commute cut from over an hour to under a half hour, getting more sleep, no longer becoming stressed at home after being stressed at school, and most importantly, I'll be much happier.
The next time I move, it'll be to this very apartment I'm staying in in Florida no later than December 2010.
So anyway.
I'm still in Florida, but I'll be leaving tonight. Cade is still in class, but he'll be home soon. We'll have seven hours to hold on to until next time, whenever that may be.
<3
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