a.d.d. or something

Oh.

Oh, hi.

I really hate to have left off and disappeared after that last blog. If I hadn't been all over every other social networking site (ugh), it'd have been safe assume my brain had exploded and I died.

But alas, here I am.

I've been thinking about something lately. I would like to share this piece of information with you. Would you like to be indulged?

Great!

I find that I cannot concentrate on one thing anymore. There's always something else (or a few things) going on in my brain at the same time. I think this has been the cause of much of my stress-- aside from the fact that things *are* stressful lately. Yes, I have 14 papers to write in the next 6 weeks, but I've found a sort of balance. I think I'll be okay on the school front.

But my lack of concentration extends to, well, everything. Even if I'm watching a movie, I'm thinking about other things. For example, I just watched Fight Club because it came in from Netflix. I had just read the book last month and was eager to watch the film again. I could barely focus on it. I fast forwarded the last 45 minutes.

The same goes for really happy moments in my life. i.e. visiting Cade in Florida. I want to do so many things there (we make so many fun plans) but by the time I get there, there's so much in my head that I get tired and we don't do very much at all. I ruin things that way. We enjoy our time together, but we don't do so much.

Just a couple of examples.


Long story short, I struggle to live in the moment. I'm always waiting to finish my next thing. Before I know it, I'll be graduated from college (DECEMBER '10 BABY!!!!), and then LIFE starts. You know, the rest of my life. The FuTuRe. What then?

too much

What do you do when you're so overwhelmed you can hardly think?

You blog, of course!

Only after having a drink in the city with Caitlin. She is wonderful and I love her.


So, things are catching up with me lately. After the most stressful month I couldn't have even imagined, I thought I was getting a break. This week started off gently. I was horribly busy, but in regards to homework it seemed as though the huge blow of assignments that I trudged though 1-2 weeks ago was the worst of it. I could finally breathe.

How very wrong I was (sounds like the transition in a synopsis of a novel at the third grade reading level, doesn't it?).

It's just been constant. In four days, I was assigned four new papers. I still have work 1-2 days during the week, and then at my other job on the weekends.

And I'm the fool who can't turn down an offered shift for some extra money.

Stupidly enough, I thought I had picked up an extra shift for TODAY, not next Friday. So after class today, exhausted, I took the 45-minute trip to work, only to find out I had the day wrong.

I've wasted five hours of today. Five hours that could've been spent really getting these papers on a roll. Five hours that could have been spent napping and outlining papers. Five hours that I could have regained some sanity.

Instead, my heart is racing so fast that my body is shaking. After spending years during which that was a daily occurrence, I really hate it.

Now, I have two options:

A. Go to a coffee shop, suck down some coffee (and possibly worsen the aforementioned racing heart) and get work done, or
B. Try and take a short nap, THEN suck down some coffee (and probably have a steadier heart).

I'll probably go for the latter.

I really don't mean to complain, but sometimes if I write everything down, my mind becomes a little more organized and a little less manic.


<3

cashews by credit

I've just returned from the Ukraine, an infamous market within our group of friends here in Melissa-land, having just made my first credit card purchase.

A handful of unsalted cashews and a pack of Orbit Lime Melon gum. Pretty solid. I had cash on me, but I've been itching to use my credit card, just to say I have. I'm excited to build credit, even if it's five dollars per month at a time. Baby steps.

My hair has been nice to me lately. When I wake up, it looks mermaid-ish (because mermaids are real and have just-out-of-the-ocean waves and wispy ends). My hair is finally hitting it's preferred length.

Side note: I'm talking to Cade online right now, and he commented that his dinner from Taco Bell is spicy. I got jealous because I love spicy things, and then I decided to put cayenne pepper on my cashews. It's wonderful. My mouth is burning with happiness... and some pain.

I'm very happy and settled in Melissa's beautiful apartment. I'm warm and comfortable and happy. It's fastest to get to my school to walk there, seeing as the train station over there is currently undergoing construction (bastards). So, I walk 2 miles to school. When I get there, I feel energized and awake. It's a good feeling.

That's really all I have for now. Just wanted to pop in and get some writing in. Must be decent seeing as I got among the highest grades on an 8-page paper on the documentary Food, Inc.

Yeah, I just wanted to throw that in there somehow.

i moved!

Here I am, settled in a lovely apartment that I'll be residing in for the next two and a half months. Having crashed here before for an extended period of time, it didn't take long to put everything in it's place. Seriously. We're talkin' ten minutes or so to be unpacked.

The move went extremely smoothly. I got home from work yesterday, procrastinated packing, eventually packed, and the mover (with the help of Molly, Caitlin, Angelo, and Angelo) got everything in his van in less than 45 minutes. If you are ever moving in the NYC metro area, I highly recommend Lightning Van movers, as does everyone else on Yelp.

I rode with the mover to my house in Pennsylvania, where he unloaded everything in about twenty minutes. He was on his way back to the city by 11:30pm. Golden.

I spent hours trying to organize my bedroom. HOURS. Both late last night and this morning/early afternoon. By the time I left my house this afternoon, I had three enormous bags of trash, two trash bags full of clothes to donate, and a bag of broken down boxes and other paper products to be recycled.

My room is really coming along, but I haven't even TOUCHED the stuff I brought in from my NYC apartment. There just wasn't any time. For now, it will all remain in my brother's vacant bedroom until Spring break, during which I'll spend days getting it all sorted.

I should also mention: A majority of my Harry Potter memorabilia has been put together in a bin to be held in storage in my basement, along with just two or so posters. The rest of the posters and things have met their end in the trash. Same with my Lord of the Rings stuff.

It's just time.

My mom is thrilled to be redecorating my room. New carpet, paint on the walls, etc. It will look classy and nice for the first time in countless years. I was an obsessed adolescent, bathing my walls with whatever the current fascination was. Now, it will be clean, symmetrical, and decorated with things like framed pictures and art.

I'm all grown up!

...and officially with an activated credit card.

I'm so legit.

a good day

I'm in a great mood so, naturally, I've decided to blog while rocking out to Miley Cyrus's Party in the USA.

Today was such a wonderful day. I woke up at 7:15am to get ready for class after going to sleep way too late. I thought it was a long shot, but I checked my school's website to see if classes were cancelled due to the weather.

They were.

I went back to sleep and woke up at 11am, texted the woman I babysit for and asked if she'd still need me today.

She didn't.

Just after I finished making my bed and was about to hop in the shower, Molly called and asked if I would join her, Felicia, and Caitlin for lunch at a great coffee shop up the block. We stayed for over two hours just chatting (aside from Felicia who had to catch a flight home!) and I even got some studying done.

Afterward, I packed all my food, some shoes, and shower/toiletries to trek out to Brooklyn so I wouldn't have to tomorrow. Through the snow and deep slush puddles at each corner carrying at least 100 pounds of stuff... it was one of the most physically demanding things I've ever done. My hands were screaming with impending blisters, my arms wanted to rip from their sockets, etc.

I made it.

Upon arrival, I couldn't bring myself to get home and pack. SO. We watched the first disc of season three of How I Met Your Mother (wonderful, as always) and ordered Thai food for dinner.

I came home with my light, empty suitcase, stopping only to get some quality boxes from a wine shop on my way home, and took a hot shower.

So here I am, long day behind me, showered and fresh, ready to get some packing done. Sure, it's a little late and I have work in the morning, but I feel good.

And Miley keeps it going.

<3

morning greetings

I know I updated like, 5 minutes ago, but what I want to say is more than 140 characters and therefore too long for a mere twitter update (yes, still refusing to use the socially accepted term for "twitter update").

I'm very tired. I went to sleep a little after 4am, and I was awoken by my heating pipe apparently being beaten with a metal bat and other such objects. No, seriously. I do not know how these sounds were physically possible.

Long story short: I'm on a few hours of sleep.

I have classes all day, then I'm going straight to work. I have to watch a film tonight so I can write a 5-7 page paper on it all day tomorrow, due in the evening. Then I have to move.

BUT. My main point is: I'm feeling motivated. Well, not so much motivated as I am... accepting. I want this semester to be over ASAP. I want my college career to be over ASAP. But until then, I'm going to kick this semester's ass. It's likely I will complain, but I'll come out of this alive AND with good grades.

So.

PS. I've been meaning to say this for a while. I've been really appreciate of the comments on my blog. I frequently reply to them in my mind. Is there no way to reply to comments on blogger? So sad. I read them all!

c-c-changes

A lot has happened since I got to Florida on Thursday.

Essentially, a bad living situation has been addressed, and I'll be moving out on Saturday. So while down here in Florida, I've been making plans with movers and friends and some more friends about getting out of this apartment as soon as humanly possible. I didn't think it was going to happen until the end of March, but thankfully I have amazing friends who will help me out. I'll be living in Brooklyn for the remainder of the semester and avoiding a lot of conflict.

I may or may not make a passive video without details or names that kind of gives the general idea of what's been going on at my NYC apartment.

In the long run, this move is going to result in: saving around $2000 in rent and utilities, living in a warm apartment and will no longer need 6 blankets, a school commute cut from over an hour to under a half hour, getting more sleep, no longer becoming stressed at home after being stressed at school, and most importantly, I'll be much happier.

The next time I move, it'll be to this very apartment I'm staying in in Florida no later than December 2010.


So anyway.

I'm still in Florida, but I'll be leaving tonight. Cade is still in class, but he'll be home soon. We'll have seven hours to hold on to until next time, whenever that may be.

<3

vegetarian

I've never preached about vegetarianism to meat-eaters, and I won't preach today.

But, quite frankly, with all we know (well, all that we have ACCESS to learn), I can't understand how people eat meat. I just can't wrap my head around it. Do you understand what you're eating? I don't think you do.

Whether meat-eater or vegetarian or pescetarian or lacto-vegetarian or ovo-vegetarian or lacto-ovo-vegetarian or don't have the slightest clue about our food and where it comes from or have interest in learning about it all, I recommend the following:

30 Days: Season 3, Episode 3 - "Animal Rights" Click the link to watch for free on hulu.com. For the record, as much as I support their cause, I think some of the people in this episode are crazy.

Food Inc. Found on instant play on Netflix. You can get a free 2-week trial and cancel it before they charge you.

EDIT: Also, the book Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. Karen commented this post with this recommendation, and I totally forgot to have added it in the first place. This is the book that made me go vegetarian cold-turkey (HA. Turkey. Vegetarian) over 3 years ago. Good book.

The episode of 30 Days is hard to watch. To be honest, I wasn't able to finish it. I warn you now because it would be unfair of me to recommend it without proper warning. Side note: I highly recommend all the episodes of 30 Days. It teaches you so much and it's really entertaining.

Food Inc. is also difficult, but it has significantly less images of animal brutality and butchering. Unfortunately, there is definitely some. Feel free to skip around. I had to a few times. Other than that, it says a lot about where ALL of our food comes from and how it's processed and so on. It's done in an aesthetically pleasing way; lots of bright colors. It's not boring,


If you watch/have watched either of these or something like it, tell me in the comments. While I said I won't preach, I'd love to hear some reactions or thoughts on vegetarianism or meat-eating. My boyfriend and his family are steak-loving Texans. I won't judge you :)

junk food

Ah, today.

First allow me to give you a heads up. Today was craving day of, how my boyfriend refers to it, the Monster (aka the monthly friend girls must deal with).

Normally, I'm not much for sweets. I keep a few bars of various Lindt dark chocolate in my freezer so that, after a meal, I can eat one square and be good to go. On this day each month, I am ravenous for sweet things. My job just so happens to be surrounded by cupcakes, brownies, cookies, etc AND we are ALLOWED to eat whatever we want for free while on the clock.

As I twittered, I ate a third of a cupcake (the "chocolate snowball" to be precise. A chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse and topped with chocolate ganache and edged in chocolate sprinkles). I also had half of a walnut brownie, a chocolate florentine cookie, and an almond ribbon.

Oh yeah. That happened.

I calculate it to come to around 570-600 calories. Now, at the time I thought I had lost my mind. In retrospect, I realize I have to chill out sometimes. I never eat sweets like that and, quite frankly, in the name of being female, I deserved every bite of it. I ate a veggie taco from Chipotle for dinner (around 300 calories) and pasta for lunch (200-300 calories).

Normally I would never post a kind of blog in which I divulge the exact number of calories like the psychopath that I am, but I find it to be rather soothing to know the number and assure the world I didn't consume 9874 calories today. I'm odd.

So, in the end, I had just the right amount for the day, though I should DEFINITELY not consume so much chocolate and sugar until *next* month.

Moral of the story: Indulge every now and then and don't feel bad about it. <3



chocolate snowball.


walnut brownie.


chocolate florentine cookies.


almond cookies. the cookie I had looks similar to this, only it was as thin as paper. small little guys, they are!

monday

Mondays are my favorite.

Mondays are busy and involve a lot of getting around. A LOT.

Today I took a route home unlike my usual. Some parts of the lower east side are nice. Very "New York." I stopped in a shop and bought Cade a couple more things for Valentine's Day (that we'll be celebrating together a weekend late, though we're pretending we're right on time). Fun things. If you know what I mean (HIGHFIVE).

It's a cold night, but I love times when I can take a long walk and appreciate the city. Especially after spending most of my time worrying about school and work and schoolwork and the FuTuRe.

Now, I'm all cozy. I'm going to pack my lunch in my new insulated lunch bag (seen here) because I am cool like that, get some work done, and RELAX before I call it a night.

You're alright, Monday, no matter what those other kids say.

EDIT: And then, after being in my PJs for an hour, I decided I needed frozen yogurt (and shared on twitter), and then Molly came with me to get some. It was good.

fifty

This is my fiftieth post.

Hooray?

I'm randomly on blogger, so I figured I might as well post something. Also, one of my classes will be using blogger, so if a classmate/teacher clicks my username and comes across this blog, then... awkward.

This semester I'm taking five film studies courses (and French 1), and in all of these classes I'll be required to write. A lot. Quite frankly, I'm so pumped about it. I haven't been asked to write for a class in ages. Unfortunately, it's going to be so much that I'm inevitably going to be overwhelmed. But hey, last full semester.

Then I am FREE.

TGIF

Thank God it's February (clever, isn't it?).

I feel as though the universe has decided to cut me some slack to start out the new month, and I am eternally grateful. From the moment I was awoken by my landlord buzzing up to the apartment at 9am, everything just felt right.

You see, my room has been nearly as cold as the outdoors in the night for months. This weekend, New York City reached dangerous lows, and my bedroom had been unbearable. Having already called the landlord multiple times to come look at it, I couldn't take it anymore after this weekend, during which it was so cold, I cried as I tried to fall asleep.

SO, this weekend, I left them a message that they would get Monday (today) morning. I was so angry and cold in the morning getting ready for work that I spent an hour planning the speech in my head. In the end, I said something like, "If I don't have a new and better insulated window or adequate heat by next weekend, I'm calling the city, the health department and, if necessary, a lawyer."

By 9 in the morning today, he was here. All he had to do was slam the top window shut (apparently it was OPEN? but so slightly that I couldn't tell) and screw some pieces in.

Voila.

Tonight, my friends, I came home to a warm bedroom.

Sure, it's a little cold, but it's Winter. And, hey, my fingers aren't numb!

When you're taking six class (five days a week), working two jobs (four days a week), you want to come home to relax. But for months, I was only able to come home, change as fast as possible, and get under six blankets PLUS a heating blanket and force myself to sleep.

This was the perfect end to an already productive, pleasant day.

I so genuinely hope you are all warm and happy.

Oops

It happens to the best of us. We forget our blogs exist.

Hi!

Happy New Year! I hope the first two weeks of the new decade have treated you all well.

Today is abnormally warm for New York City winter, and I'm thankful that today is my day off to do laundry. The weather feels nice! I'm just getting everything back on track. I've been preparing for my last full-time semester in college (FI. NA. LY.) and getting back into the swing of things at work.

I spent 12 days in Texas and Florida with Cade for New Years and just being together. A lot. It was probably my favorite trip being with him. It felt very... right. I think I'm in love. As if no one knew that already. Heheeeeeeee.

Excuse me. I must go to the laundromat and put my clothes in the dryer. K done.

So, I don't want to attempt to fill the abyss that is the Internet in with everything that's been going on. This is good enough for now.

Allow me to leave you with a couple pictures of me and Cade on my last trip to see him (I can't believe it's only been 3 days since I was there).

Good luck and good night!




I'll let you go ahead and vomit at that first one. <3

i am cold

Welcome to winter and a landlord-controlled heating system. aka there is no heat.

I am not complaining though. The city is really quite beautiful in the cold. I don't know why.

Taking twitter off my phone has been kind of liberating. It's strange how often in a day I think... "I should twitter that." Or other such thoughts. I still sign in every once in a while to stalk you all though. Obviously.

Things have been going well. This is the last week of classes for the semester, then finals next week. I'm still poor because as soon as I made money, I booked a flight to Texas and then out of Orlando for New Years and the first two weeks of January. And then I had to buy Cade Christmas presents. Family is next.

PRIORITIES.

Cade > Food.

:)

Speaking of Cade, he sent red roses! We've been speaking for a year now, every single day since the day we met. Well, now it's one year and one week. And here's to the rest of the years and the rest of the weeks of our lives. <3

I talk about him too much.

I hope you're all doing well! Finals and cold weather and holidays and LIFE!

the holiday of food

Happy Thanksgiving!

American or not, you're thankful for something and should indulge in copious amounts of food tonight. It's just the way.

If you follow me on twitter, you may have seen oodles of repetitious updates regarding working a helluva lot in a short period of time. I apologize for them all, but it'll be fun to look back on at some point.

I'm currently in a bed full of fluffy pillows, blankets, and on the most comfortable bed of my life, aka the bed I've been sleeping on for about 20 years. After 15 hours of recovering sleep last night in this bed, I feel reborn. The past 2.5 straight days of work are completely irrelevant to me now, but my bank account is thankful.

Today, we recognize what we are thankful for. I have so much that I feel like a list would be too short and miss so many things. Regardless...

1. Cade.
--It may be cliche or lame, but he means everything to me. My life would not be what it is today without him. Also, in 4 days, we will be celebrating one full year of speaking every single day since the first moment we started speaking. <3

2. Family.
--Also cliche, but also true. My life has been an adventure, a roller coaster, full of good decisions and bad, and they still support me and just want me to succeed. I am SO EXCITED to see the family we see every year for Thanksgiving. I haven't seen them for two years, because last year I spent Thanksgiving in Seattle with Eia and her family (<333).

3. Friends.
--Obviously. So many of my friends are there for me no matter what. This includes my friends here in my hometown. I stopped hanging out with so many of them when I turned to the internet, traveling, and having friends all over the world to visit, but when I DO come home, I get plenty of "Ahhh, come hang out!" texts and calls.

4. School.
--I'm so over college. I'm ready to move on with my life and be done with it. Nonetheless, my current college accepted all of my general education courses, and my head of department has worked with me and my scheduling to make sure I'm out as fast as possible, which is 2 years. I WILL finish school in May of 2011.


I think that covers the basics, right?

I wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving <3 What are you thankful for?!

weekend and new moon

I've had a good two days. Both have ended somewhat early, cuddled up in sweatpants, sweatshirt, and socks to keep the cold from getting to me. So comfortable.

Yesterday I had class, watched a movie, then went to the diner with Molly. We proceeded to go for a walk and got coffee, passed a liquor store and decided to dump a mini bottle of Disaronno into them (the buzz lasted about 30 minutes). I got home, showered, read a book, then watched the film, Gigantic. Good day.

I've been out since early this afternoon, when I decided to walk 2.5 miles to a coffee shop on the West side. Then I kept going uptown, and asked Roni to come out and play.

Side fun fact: Roni (along with my roommate, Jessica) was the first person I met in the "HP fandom" in real life after having become friends online. December 2, 2006. Feels like a million years ago.

Roni and I got dinner and then a cupcake at Magnolia. Heck yeah. Cupcakes. We walked by a movie theater and I said,

Hey. Want to see New Moon?

-Right now?

Right now.

-Okay.

So we saw New Moon. Quite frankly, I loved it. Honestly, 98% of the reason is because Edward is hardly in it. Also why New Moon is my favorite book of the series (screw this "Saga" bullshit).

....Say "saga" out loud. Right now. What a strange word.

Dakota Fanning. I've been such a huge fan of hers forever, and when I found out she would be playing Jane from New Moon, I knew she would be perfect. And she was. She needed more screen time.

Now, I sit with a glass of red wine like the classy young lady that I am not and relax.

food

I can't figure it out. Other than human need for sustenance, really, why must we eat all the damn time?

And what the hell is up with my spacebar?!

Irrelevant.

I'm trying to understand why it is I want food all the time. It doesn't help living in my apartment. My two roommates do nothing but eat every night. It's fascinating.

Trust me. I've been addicted to food and nutrition and caloric value for years. So. I am a hypocrite.

I like starting new thoughts with new paragraphs, not just new sentences. Does this bother you? I just seem to roll this way.

So food. What is it? I ate really well today without really thinking about it. Had lunch, dinner, and dessert. And then, while watching The Office, roommate #1 was eating leftover Domino's macaroni and cheese pasta bread bowl. I smelled the macaroni and that was the end. I ordered Mac and Cheese from S'Mac to be delivered. I have $22 left. Their minimum order for delivery is $10. With tax and tip, I spent $13.

I now know for sure that my credit problem a few months ago was all food. All of it. I spend more money on food than anything else. My entire wardrobe is cheaper than the food I pay for.

Now, tell me. With the FULL AWARENESS of my financial situation and how very badly I need to save if I ever want to have a life other than just getting by, WHY is it that I felt it totally necessary to spend THIRTY DOLLARS on food today? WHY?!

(Side note: I had half of my mac and cheese and the rest is saved for lunch tomorrow. This justifies nothing, as it was expensive and the most unhealthy food I could possibly consume)

finding yourself

It's such a lame title, but it's what life is all about. Yo.

Before I write any more, my roommate found out only moments ago that a friend of hers from high school passed away this week. 20 years old. Tell me that doesn't scare you, and I'll call you a liar.

What I've been wanting to say is that I feel like I've been going through so many things lately; nothing monumental from an outsider's perspective, but situations that are testing my strength, drive, emotional stability, love, faith, and any hopes for the future.

With an outstanding charitable donation from my mother, I am officially free of a credit card bill (which, by the way, was never late. It was only a ($766) issue for a month). The money I'm making now from babysitting, which isn't much, goes towards my food and, whatever change is left, into some form of savings. This is obviously a huge weight off my back. I owe my mother everything. My whole life. You guys may or may not have seen the past few years of my life be adventurous and wonderful. Well, I owe it all to her. I hope one day I can pay her back.

Even with this massive relief, things have been off. I've missed a few classes. Not enough to feel any repercussions, but enough that I cannot afford to miss any more. I've been sleeping a lot more, with just general fatigue setting in often. My friendships are dwindling, because I can't be bothered to make phone calls or go out to spend time with people. Worst of all, I've been pushing away the one person (aside from family), who has loved me and known every. single. thing. about. me. And he still loves me. Imagine that!

Cade is the reason I am who I am today. I no longer drink often/unable to stop drinking once I start, and I haven't indulged in many other disorders. There is NO OTHER reason other than Cade. I wanted a change, but it wasn't going to happen until he came into my life, almost exactly one year ago. I have no idea where I would be today had I not met him. I cannot stress that enough.

My problem: What it comes down to, is that I think way too far into the future. I can't see my future, therefore I find it hard to keep going here, in the present, to go to this nothingness in my mind. No one knows their future, but for some reason, not knowing where I'm going to be in 6 months makes me want to give up on everything entirely. This, my friends, is utterly insane.

Although, this doesn't stop me from thinking that a certain someone would be happier in a certain city. Even if it has virtually nothing to do with me. But I digress.


I apologize for the long update, and I don't expect you to have made it this far. I need to blog to get everything out. This can't be said in 140 characters or less, and it's time I stop with the emo twitter. No one enjoys it.



I truly wish the best for all of you. I hope you're living every day to the fullest. Hey. See your friend over there? Hug them. Oh, they're on the internet? Give them the good ol' fashioned *hug.*

i need coffee

I NEED COFFEE. I NEED. I WANT. GIMME.

*composes self*

I'm getting coffee in like an hour and it will be lovely.


Yes, it was necessary to blog about it. I recommend using Google Image to search "coffee addict." Entertaining stuff.

if you blog it, it will come

Please tell me someone recognizes the terrible spin-off of a movie quote.

I'm not sure what "it" would be. Motivation? Contentment?

I don't know how many times I've posted how badly I need to get myself on some kind of track, but hey. Listen. I need to get myself on some kind of track.

It's to the point where my money-spending and unhealthy food-consuming is at a new low. I've over-drafted so much on my debit card that it's denied everywhere I go. THIS is a low I never thought I would experience.

Also, a late-night adventure with Molly around midnight last night confirmed some food issues as well.

I have to babysit this afternoon, and tomorrow I finally have a job interview. Fingers crossed on that one.

I feel like I've been letting myself go or giving up on everything. I have to snap out of it. When I first moved here, I was working 30-40 hours a week, paying my own rent, able to afford little things and a flight to Texas here and there. Sure, I've been having an amazing time with something to do every day, but the friends I hang out with do too and THEY have jobs (although no classes). Psh. I can do that.

Also, Cade gets here in 11 days. I'm attempting to plan out an evening and not tell him anything about it, even as it's happening. I'm cute.

Enough for now.



The only picture I've really taken in the past month. This was just after seeing the Toy Story double feature in 3D. <3