Saturday, April 17, 2010

a.d.d. or something


Oh, hi.

I really hate to have left off and disappeared after that last blog. If I hadn't been all over every other social networking site (ugh), it'd have been safe assume my brain had exploded and I died.

But alas, here I am.

I've been thinking about something lately. I would like to share this piece of information with you. Would you like to be indulged?


I find that I cannot concentrate on one thing anymore. There's always something else (or a few things) going on in my brain at the same time. I think this has been the cause of much of my stress-- aside from the fact that things *are* stressful lately. Yes, I have 14 papers to write in the next 6 weeks, but I've found a sort of balance. I think I'll be okay on the school front.

But my lack of concentration extends to, well, everything. Even if I'm watching a movie, I'm thinking about other things. For example, I just watched Fight Club because it came in from Netflix. I had just read the book last month and was eager to watch the film again. I could barely focus on it. I fast forwarded the last 45 minutes.

The same goes for really happy moments in my life. i.e. visiting Cade in Florida. I want to do so many things there (we make so many fun plans) but by the time I get there, there's so much in my head that I get tired and we don't do very much at all. I ruin things that way. We enjoy our time together, but we don't do so much.

Just a couple of examples.

Long story short, I struggle to live in the moment. I'm always waiting to finish my next thing. Before I know it, I'll be graduated from college (DECEMBER '10 BABY!!!!), and then LIFE starts. You know, the rest of my life. The FuTuRe. What then?