Tuesday, September 29, 2009

miss productive

It's always tough returning to reality and school and stuff after a really amazing weekend.

Cade came up to NYC from Friday night to Monday night. Initially, I had tried to persuade him not to come. Less than four days together, spending all that money (which turned out to be not very much at all), etc., made me think it wouldn't be worth it. I was very wrong. It felt like at least a week together, and it was seriously the most wonderful weekend. We finally got some real alone time, which we realized was the first time since MARCH.

Fully armed with photobooth. I think everyone knows that this is dangerous.

So, last night after I dropped Cade off at the airport near my hometown, I went straight back into the city. I had stuff to get done, seeing as there was no way I would interrupt my time with Cade with stuff I could get done on my own time. Today, I actually got everything done. Homework + 8 billion errands. Yes. I have 8 billion errands.

It's a good day, even if I do miss Cade. But this is nothing new.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

the first kiss

Oh goodness. That first kiss.

That is a feeling that will stay with you forever. When you know you both want to, and you can hear your own heart racing. You're nervous. You're excited. You're very much in-like.


I was just thinking about my first kiss with a certain someone. Honestly, I think about it frequently. When I'm feeling low, sometimes it pops into my head and I can't help but smile. It's one of the few things that can do that.

I can't even begin to explain how nervous I was. Such an adrenaline rush. It wasn't even close to my first time, but it was the first time it really meant something. I could just tell.

It was just before going to sleep. Everything about it was so innocent. I was so tired. Then when I went into my bed, separate from his, and I couldn't sleep. My heart was still racing.

I genuinely hope everyone can experience this.


There are good things.

Class is going very well. It's a lot of reading, but I really do enjoy all (except one to a lesser degree) of my classes. It's starting to get more difficult, as my film classes are turning to a hands-on approach.

I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I got a call from AirTran regarding an application I submitted to work at the airport. I would love this job. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

So, because of money and class schedules, Cade and I had decided that the next time we would see each other would be the third week of October. It didn't last. He'll be here on Friday. <3

Molly is in my living room. I missed her and our discussions of food and the internet.

I'm sick. I don't know what I have. Probably just some common virus. I was taking a leaf from past-Sam and pretending to be a hypochondriac, diagnosing myself with various diseases. This morning, I decided chickenpox. For the past few days, brain tumor, for sure. Now, I've yet to decide.

Things are okay. I would just like some income. Y'know?

Monday, September 14, 2009


...miss a lot of people. The GOOD people. By "good," I mean people who are good, not the people who I like the most.

...am sick of a lot of people.

...need to get a job. I'm looking. A lot.

...am hungry.

...need to eat less.

...want to see the Boy, which could actually be much sooner rather than later.

...want can do well in school this semester.

...am often angry lately.



Double Samtastic.


Matt and Justin
My favorite tour companions on the planet.

My ring pop homeslice.

Kristina and Eia
My Seattlites, who I moved in with exactly a year ago as of September 26th.

Molly and Grilled Cheese. The first of whom returns to me in two days. <3


Friday, September 11, 2009

you think too much

That's an interesting and totally legitimate statement. "You think too much." When you think too much, you fabricate incidences and then react. You think of eighteen hundred better or easier versions of what it is you worry about.

Still with me? I think I lost myself in there. Hopefully you get my point.

Essentially, I like keeping busy. I don't like to think about keeping busy, but I like to keep moving. I like my day to have a purpose. Occasionally, okay, give me a day to do nothing but sit at my laptop eating fried food.

I get myself into trouble when I think too much. If I stop thinking, it moves so much easier. Going through the motions. Simple.

For example:

I hate going to work until I get to work.
I hate waking up in the morning until I'm in the shower.
I hate going to class until I am in the classroom.
I hate being in a long-distance relationship until I think for even the slightest second about the person with whom I'm in the relationship (that may or may not be a properly structured sentence. 10 points to me if I got it right).
I hate going to the gym until I'm there, and then I proceed to spend two hours there.

I know I'm not the only one.

Scratch that. I assume I'm not the only one. And you know what they say about people who assume...

Long story short: I'm starting to think. Being the end of my long, eventful, and nice day, I'm thinking. Bad things happen when I think.

Oh, a glass of wine? Don't mind if I do!

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Hi, my name is Samantha, and I have a problem.

A money-spending problem.

I have NO money, but I insist on the Dunkin' Donuts coffee or that sandwich from the market or that RipStik (that I love and have no regrets buying, but I mean come ON. Winter is coming), and so on.

In fact, I was more "in the red" in my bank account than I thought. $350, to be exact. And utilities to pay. You know, LAST month's utilities.

Sure, I have two paychecks out there waiting for me. One on the Upper East Side from babysitting, and the other lost in the huge building that I work in now (they lost it, not me). It won't cover all this, though.

Oh, and I have books to buy this weekend, as well as a MetroCard to get to classes and work and such.

AND my job is seasonal. Tonight is my last shift.

I am very, very lucky that my parents are paying for my school right now. People have student loans like CRAZY and owe way more than $350. I'm still entitled to my own financial stress.

Any tips on how to, you know, NOT spend money? Better yet, anyone have a spare million to hand over?