Monday, December 7, 2009

i am cold

Welcome to winter and a landlord-controlled heating system. aka there is no heat.

I am not complaining though. The city is really quite beautiful in the cold. I don't know why.

Taking twitter off my phone has been kind of liberating. It's strange how often in a day I think... "I should twitter that." Or other such thoughts. I still sign in every once in a while to stalk you all though. Obviously.

Things have been going well. This is the last week of classes for the semester, then finals next week. I'm still poor because as soon as I made money, I booked a flight to Texas and then out of Orlando for New Years and the first two weeks of January. And then I had to buy Cade Christmas presents. Family is next.


Cade > Food.


Speaking of Cade, he sent red roses! We've been speaking for a year now, every single day since the day we met. Well, now it's one year and one week. And here's to the rest of the years and the rest of the weeks of our lives. <3

I talk about him too much.

I hope you're all doing well! Finals and cold weather and holidays and LIFE!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

the holiday of food

Happy Thanksgiving!

American or not, you're thankful for something and should indulge in copious amounts of food tonight. It's just the way.

If you follow me on twitter, you may have seen oodles of repetitious updates regarding working a helluva lot in a short period of time. I apologize for them all, but it'll be fun to look back on at some point.

I'm currently in a bed full of fluffy pillows, blankets, and on the most comfortable bed of my life, aka the bed I've been sleeping on for about 20 years. After 15 hours of recovering sleep last night in this bed, I feel reborn. The past 2.5 straight days of work are completely irrelevant to me now, but my bank account is thankful.

Today, we recognize what we are thankful for. I have so much that I feel like a list would be too short and miss so many things. Regardless...

1. Cade.
--It may be cliche or lame, but he means everything to me. My life would not be what it is today without him. Also, in 4 days, we will be celebrating one full year of speaking every single day since the first moment we started speaking. <3

2. Family.
--Also cliche, but also true. My life has been an adventure, a roller coaster, full of good decisions and bad, and they still support me and just want me to succeed. I am SO EXCITED to see the family we see every year for Thanksgiving. I haven't seen them for two years, because last year I spent Thanksgiving in Seattle with Eia and her family (<333).

3. Friends.
--Obviously. So many of my friends are there for me no matter what. This includes my friends here in my hometown. I stopped hanging out with so many of them when I turned to the internet, traveling, and having friends all over the world to visit, but when I DO come home, I get plenty of "Ahhh, come hang out!" texts and calls.

4. School.
--I'm so over college. I'm ready to move on with my life and be done with it. Nonetheless, my current college accepted all of my general education courses, and my head of department has worked with me and my scheduling to make sure I'm out as fast as possible, which is 2 years. I WILL finish school in May of 2011.

I think that covers the basics, right?

I wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving <3 What are you thankful for?!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

weekend and new moon

I've had a good two days. Both have ended somewhat early, cuddled up in sweatpants, sweatshirt, and socks to keep the cold from getting to me. So comfortable.

Yesterday I had class, watched a movie, then went to the diner with Molly. We proceeded to go for a walk and got coffee, passed a liquor store and decided to dump a mini bottle of Disaronno into them (the buzz lasted about 30 minutes). I got home, showered, read a book, then watched the film, Gigantic. Good day.

I've been out since early this afternoon, when I decided to walk 2.5 miles to a coffee shop on the West side. Then I kept going uptown, and asked Roni to come out and play.

Side fun fact: Roni (along with my roommate, Jessica) was the first person I met in the "HP fandom" in real life after having become friends online. December 2, 2006. Feels like a million years ago.

Roni and I got dinner and then a cupcake at Magnolia. Heck yeah. Cupcakes. We walked by a movie theater and I said,

Hey. Want to see New Moon?

-Right now?

Right now.


So we saw New Moon. Quite frankly, I loved it. Honestly, 98% of the reason is because Edward is hardly in it. Also why New Moon is my favorite book of the series (screw this "Saga" bullshit).

....Say "saga" out loud. Right now. What a strange word.

Dakota Fanning. I've been such a huge fan of hers forever, and when I found out she would be playing Jane from New Moon, I knew she would be perfect. And she was. She needed more screen time.

Now, I sit with a glass of red wine like the classy young lady that I am not and relax.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


I can't figure it out. Other than human need for sustenance, really, why must we eat all the damn time?

And what the hell is up with my spacebar?!


I'm trying to understand why it is I want food all the time. It doesn't help living in my apartment. My two roommates do nothing but eat every night. It's fascinating.

Trust me. I've been addicted to food and nutrition and caloric value for years. So. I am a hypocrite.

I like starting new thoughts with new paragraphs, not just new sentences. Does this bother you? I just seem to roll this way.

So food. What is it? I ate really well today without really thinking about it. Had lunch, dinner, and dessert. And then, while watching The Office, roommate #1 was eating leftover Domino's macaroni and cheese pasta bread bowl. I smelled the macaroni and that was the end. I ordered Mac and Cheese from S'Mac to be delivered. I have $22 left. Their minimum order for delivery is $10. With tax and tip, I spent $13.

I now know for sure that my credit problem a few months ago was all food. All of it. I spend more money on food than anything else. My entire wardrobe is cheaper than the food I pay for.

Now, tell me. With the FULL AWARENESS of my financial situation and how very badly I need to save if I ever want to have a life other than just getting by, WHY is it that I felt it totally necessary to spend THIRTY DOLLARS on food today? WHY?!

(Side note: I had half of my mac and cheese and the rest is saved for lunch tomorrow. This justifies nothing, as it was expensive and the most unhealthy food I could possibly consume)

Monday, November 16, 2009

finding yourself

It's such a lame title, but it's what life is all about. Yo.

Before I write any more, my roommate found out only moments ago that a friend of hers from high school passed away this week. 20 years old. Tell me that doesn't scare you, and I'll call you a liar.

What I've been wanting to say is that I feel like I've been going through so many things lately; nothing monumental from an outsider's perspective, but situations that are testing my strength, drive, emotional stability, love, faith, and any hopes for the future.

With an outstanding charitable donation from my mother, I am officially free of a credit card bill (which, by the way, was never late. It was only a ($766) issue for a month). The money I'm making now from babysitting, which isn't much, goes towards my food and, whatever change is left, into some form of savings. This is obviously a huge weight off my back. I owe my mother everything. My whole life. You guys may or may not have seen the past few years of my life be adventurous and wonderful. Well, I owe it all to her. I hope one day I can pay her back.

Even with this massive relief, things have been off. I've missed a few classes. Not enough to feel any repercussions, but enough that I cannot afford to miss any more. I've been sleeping a lot more, with just general fatigue setting in often. My friendships are dwindling, because I can't be bothered to make phone calls or go out to spend time with people. Worst of all, I've been pushing away the one person (aside from family), who has loved me and known every. single. thing. about. me. And he still loves me. Imagine that!

Cade is the reason I am who I am today. I no longer drink often/unable to stop drinking once I start, and I haven't indulged in many other disorders. There is NO OTHER reason other than Cade. I wanted a change, but it wasn't going to happen until he came into my life, almost exactly one year ago. I have no idea where I would be today had I not met him. I cannot stress that enough.

My problem: What it comes down to, is that I think way too far into the future. I can't see my future, therefore I find it hard to keep going here, in the present, to go to this nothingness in my mind. No one knows their future, but for some reason, not knowing where I'm going to be in 6 months makes me want to give up on everything entirely. This, my friends, is utterly insane.

Although, this doesn't stop me from thinking that a certain someone would be happier in a certain city. Even if it has virtually nothing to do with me. But I digress.

I apologize for the long update, and I don't expect you to have made it this far. I need to blog to get everything out. This can't be said in 140 characters or less, and it's time I stop with the emo twitter. No one enjoys it.

I truly wish the best for all of you. I hope you're living every day to the fullest. Hey. See your friend over there? Hug them. Oh, they're on the internet? Give them the good ol' fashioned *hug.*

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

i need coffee


*composes self*

I'm getting coffee in like an hour and it will be lovely.

Yes, it was necessary to blog about it. I recommend using Google Image to search "coffee addict." Entertaining stuff.

Monday, October 19, 2009

if you blog it, it will come

Please tell me someone recognizes the terrible spin-off of a movie quote.

I'm not sure what "it" would be. Motivation? Contentment?

I don't know how many times I've posted how badly I need to get myself on some kind of track, but hey. Listen. I need to get myself on some kind of track.

It's to the point where my money-spending and unhealthy food-consuming is at a new low. I've over-drafted so much on my debit card that it's denied everywhere I go. THIS is a low I never thought I would experience.

Also, a late-night adventure with Molly around midnight last night confirmed some food issues as well.

I have to babysit this afternoon, and tomorrow I finally have a job interview. Fingers crossed on that one.

I feel like I've been letting myself go or giving up on everything. I have to snap out of it. When I first moved here, I was working 30-40 hours a week, paying my own rent, able to afford little things and a flight to Texas here and there. Sure, I've been having an amazing time with something to do every day, but the friends I hang out with do too and THEY have jobs (although no classes). Psh. I can do that.

Also, Cade gets here in 11 days. I'm attempting to plan out an evening and not tell him anything about it, even as it's happening. I'm cute.

Enough for now.

Caitlin and Molly
The only picture I've really taken in the past month. This was just after seeing the Toy Story double feature in 3D. <3

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

it's all happening

Listen to my day.

Just listen.

I got no sleep. Tossing and turning all night. Awful.

Got up for class with plenty of energy, the way you do when you get in between way too little sleep and a lot of sleep. I hit a Starbucks before getting on the train for my grande red eye (coffee with a shot of espresso).

Class went well. I took my first test in about two years. I really think I did well.

I went to Target between classes, got a delicious pumpkin spice candle, some tights, etc.

Next class. My professor GIVES us our entire midterm to practice with for when we take it two weeks from now (no Wednesday classes next week).

I go home. Go grocery shopping.

THEN, get this, I go for a RUN. Yes. A run. I ran a whole (ha) 0.6 miles before clutching my chest in fear of death (I exaggerate).


The woman I babysit for works in film. Right now she's working on the new Sex and the City movie in the biggest film studio outside of Hollywood. I'm going with her tomorrow night to the set. Yes.

Now, I'm sitting, showered, eating a healthy slice of blueberry pie, drinking a glass of white wine, and talking to the Boy on skype video.

This is a good October 7th.


Monday, October 5, 2009

what to write

A few things have happened the past few days that I would love to blog about. I even thought about blogging them as they happened. I just never got around to it.

I'm fine with just living it. I'm also fine with writing for the sake of writing, or writing for the sake of sharing my experiences.

I change my mind constantly. There are times where I want to really dive into the many online communities there are, and sometimes I want to close my youtube/twitter accounts.

It's bizarre.

Friday, October 2, 2009

an evening

I woke up at 7:20 to get to class by 9:30.
Left class at 1:15, ran some errands once I was back in Manhattan, got home.
I ate lunch.

Now, I'm sitting in a dress with my new nail polish drying, watching Season 3 of Dexter.

Later, I'll join Kevin uptown for drinks, and then a late dinner reservation.

This is New York, man.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

miss productive

It's always tough returning to reality and school and stuff after a really amazing weekend.

Cade came up to NYC from Friday night to Monday night. Initially, I had tried to persuade him not to come. Less than four days together, spending all that money (which turned out to be not very much at all), etc., made me think it wouldn't be worth it. I was very wrong. It felt like at least a week together, and it was seriously the most wonderful weekend. We finally got some real alone time, which we realized was the first time since MARCH.

Fully armed with photobooth. I think everyone knows that this is dangerous.

So, last night after I dropped Cade off at the airport near my hometown, I went straight back into the city. I had stuff to get done, seeing as there was no way I would interrupt my time with Cade with stuff I could get done on my own time. Today, I actually got everything done. Homework + 8 billion errands. Yes. I have 8 billion errands.

It's a good day, even if I do miss Cade. But this is nothing new.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

the first kiss

Oh goodness. That first kiss.

That is a feeling that will stay with you forever. When you know you both want to, and you can hear your own heart racing. You're nervous. You're excited. You're very much in-like.


I was just thinking about my first kiss with a certain someone. Honestly, I think about it frequently. When I'm feeling low, sometimes it pops into my head and I can't help but smile. It's one of the few things that can do that.

I can't even begin to explain how nervous I was. Such an adrenaline rush. It wasn't even close to my first time, but it was the first time it really meant something. I could just tell.

It was just before going to sleep. Everything about it was so innocent. I was so tired. Then when I went into my bed, separate from his, and I couldn't sleep. My heart was still racing.

I genuinely hope everyone can experience this.


There are good things.

Class is going very well. It's a lot of reading, but I really do enjoy all (except one to a lesser degree) of my classes. It's starting to get more difficult, as my film classes are turning to a hands-on approach.

I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I got a call from AirTran regarding an application I submitted to work at the airport. I would love this job. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

So, because of money and class schedules, Cade and I had decided that the next time we would see each other would be the third week of October. It didn't last. He'll be here on Friday. <3

Molly is in my living room. I missed her and our discussions of food and the internet.

I'm sick. I don't know what I have. Probably just some common virus. I was taking a leaf from past-Sam and pretending to be a hypochondriac, diagnosing myself with various diseases. This morning, I decided chickenpox. For the past few days, brain tumor, for sure. Now, I've yet to decide.

Things are okay. I would just like some income. Y'know?

Monday, September 14, 2009


...miss a lot of people. The GOOD people. By "good," I mean people who are good, not the people who I like the most. sick of a lot of people.

...need to get a job. I'm looking. A lot. hungry.

...need to eat less.

...want to see the Boy, which could actually be much sooner rather than later.

...want can do well in school this semester. often angry lately.


Double Samtastic.


Matt and Justin
My favorite tour companions on the planet.

My ring pop homeslice.

Kristina and Eia
My Seattlites, who I moved in with exactly a year ago as of September 26th.

Molly and Grilled Cheese. The first of whom returns to me in two days. <3


Friday, September 11, 2009

you think too much

That's an interesting and totally legitimate statement. "You think too much." When you think too much, you fabricate incidences and then react. You think of eighteen hundred better or easier versions of what it is you worry about.

Still with me? I think I lost myself in there. Hopefully you get my point.

Essentially, I like keeping busy. I don't like to think about keeping busy, but I like to keep moving. I like my day to have a purpose. Occasionally, okay, give me a day to do nothing but sit at my laptop eating fried food.

I get myself into trouble when I think too much. If I stop thinking, it moves so much easier. Going through the motions. Simple.

For example:

I hate going to work until I get to work.
I hate waking up in the morning until I'm in the shower.
I hate going to class until I am in the classroom.
I hate being in a long-distance relationship until I think for even the slightest second about the person with whom I'm in the relationship (that may or may not be a properly structured sentence. 10 points to me if I got it right).
I hate going to the gym until I'm there, and then I proceed to spend two hours there.

I know I'm not the only one.

Scratch that. I assume I'm not the only one. And you know what they say about people who assume...

Long story short: I'm starting to think. Being the end of my long, eventful, and nice day, I'm thinking. Bad things happen when I think.

Oh, a glass of wine? Don't mind if I do!

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Hi, my name is Samantha, and I have a problem.

A money-spending problem.

I have NO money, but I insist on the Dunkin' Donuts coffee or that sandwich from the market or that RipStik (that I love and have no regrets buying, but I mean come ON. Winter is coming), and so on.

In fact, I was more "in the red" in my bank account than I thought. $350, to be exact. And utilities to pay. You know, LAST month's utilities.

Sure, I have two paychecks out there waiting for me. One on the Upper East Side from babysitting, and the other lost in the huge building that I work in now (they lost it, not me). It won't cover all this, though.

Oh, and I have books to buy this weekend, as well as a MetroCard to get to classes and work and such.

AND my job is seasonal. Tonight is my last shift.

I am very, very lucky that my parents are paying for my school right now. People have student loans like CRAZY and owe way more than $350. I'm still entitled to my own financial stress.

Any tips on how to, you know, NOT spend money? Better yet, anyone have a spare million to hand over?

Monday, August 31, 2009


I wish there was a way to reply to comments on blogs. There isn't a way, correct? Sometimes, I reply to my comments out loud in hopes that they'll hear me.


Also, I mentioned in my last post that I have only a few blog followers. Just for clarification, I appreciate each and every one of you. <3

mmm I ate much better today. Mostly.

New obsession:

Rice crackers wrapped in seaweed. Currently enjoying them with Jasmine Green Tea. Beautiful combination (I hear Jazza's voice saying that as I typed it. I miss him).

Nori Maki Arare

Sunday, August 30, 2009

i am full

You know how it's been said that when a dog... releases themselves in the house, the dog should be shown it so they realize the mistake and learn? Or when a child does something wrong, bring the child to the mistake and recognize it as wrong?

Well, I ate so much today, that I feel like I'll never learn unless I embarrass myself and tell all you lovely readers (I can't imagine there are many of you) exactly all I ate today.

And then hang my head in shame. Like Tobias. Or ...everyone else in that Arrested Development episode.

I worked from 9:45-4:15pm.

-Banana on train.
-Coffee and nutrigrain bar for lunch.
Here comes trouble:
-Half of a burrito.
*walked 2 miles*
-Half of a burrito
-Medium fries.
(haven't had McD's in like... a year. For real)
*needed ice cream*
-Half of a "froyo" Ben and Jerry's pint thing.
-Handful of mixed nuts.

And now? I burst.


Saturday, August 29, 2009

nine months ago

I've been a part of a really awesome health website called SparkPeople (at Amy's recommendation). I don't really use it for all it offers, just to read up on health articles. There are some good ones!

I just signed in to read up on some stuff, and I noticed that I did log in my weight once, nine months and one day ago. It turns out I am the exact same weight. The difference, though, is that nine months and one day ago I was in the habit of consuming 200-300 calories a day. aka I was very unhealthy. Now, I eat quite a bit more, but I'm healthy and active and life is much better.

It's just weird to compare.

Now, if only I could start eating healthier and not taking trips twice a week to Crumbs for a huge cupcake with Jessica all the time, I'd probably be a lot more fit. As soon as Molly returns to NYC, it's healthy eating all the time! ...Or as often as possible!

Cappucino Cupcake

^Cappuccino cupcake. It's our favorite so far. That's saying something, seeing as we've had a lot of them.

Friday, August 28, 2009

i need new books

Apparently, I only read books in which the protagonist attempts suicide, succeeds in suicide, or just straight up dies, all because their lives went terribly wrong. What's worse is that all their lives started out so pleasant and was their dream come true.

I didn't notice this trend in books until more than halfway through the book I'm currently reading, For One More Day by Mitch Albom.

For One More Day

It's an extremely quick and easy read. I'm enjoying it, and I'll be finished within the hour.

Prior to this, I read The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards.

Memory Keeper's Daughter

It was very slow at times, but overall a good book.

Before that? Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor.


These are all very depressing books.

Help me.

What I'd *really* like is a book recommendation or two. I need happy, light reading in my life right now. Especially now. Give me optimism. Hope. Happiness. Love. All of that junk. Then I can return to my bookshelf of all the random books I haven't yet read that were sitting in my house in PA, all of which appear to follow the same genre.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

one of those days, man

I woke up with an overwhelming urge to move all my furniture around in my tiny NYC bedroom. I knew this would be a serious undertaking, but as soon as I realized I would have to move the picture collages and lights I have hanging, I knew it would just be ridiculous. If you follow me on twitter, you may have already seen all this.

So, I clearly had no other choice but to veg out and watch Family Man (with Nicholas Cage - one of my favorite movies) and order a grilled cheese to be delivered.

Feeling pretty useless and low today.

Just one of those days.

But Allison is coming over tomorrow! She hasn't seen my apartment yet. She's my homegirl from my 'hood in PA.

Friday, August 21, 2009

oh, to be better

Cade and Me

I got home to my (scorching hot) NYC apartment late tonight from 9 days in Texas/Florida. Shown above is one out of only three pictures taken the entire time (and it's a terrible one, aside from Cade's cuteness), on our drive from Texas to Florida. So much happened in that time period that it genuinely feels like I was gone at least a month. It seems as though this city was in a time warp during which I was hardly gone.

Allow me to be disgusting for just a moment: I have the best boyfriend on the planet. I don't deserve him. I can't believe I have someone who is so patient, caring, kind, loving, and... did I mention patient? I'm lucky. There is no one else in the world that would put up with me. He makes me want to be a better person. He's already made me a better person in the 8.5 months I've known him.

Moral of the story: I want to be better. Whatever that means, I don't know exactly. I just want to be better.

I can do that.


IMPORTANT NOTE: Go see Julie and Julia. Oh my goodness, it was wonderful. Meryl Streep is a goddess. Warning: This movie will make you want to cook, eat, blog, set a goal and attain it, and go to France.

Now, go.

Julie and Julia

Saturday, August 8, 2009


I think I have an addiction to fun and delicious drinks that I've never seen before.

Aside from my usual 1.5-liter bottle of water. Look at all of the environmentally friendly features!


Then there's my Oi Ocha green tea that I mentioned in my most recent post. I'm totally drinking it out of a 2 Liter bottle right now. Refreshing.

Oi Ocha 2

Two nights ago, after a late-night excursion to the market with Jessica, I saw this tiny glass bottle of apple juice and miraculously had an overwhelming NEED for apple juice. How could you resist this? It's 100% apple juice. No concentrate. NOTHING ELSE. It makes me so happy that this purity still exists in America.

Apple Juice

And finally, for now, V Blast. I forget if I've mentioned it. I've considered making an entire video about V Blast and it's overall superiority, but now I'm leaning towards making a video with all of these drinks. And more. Because I LOVE New York City and the ridiculous variety of beverages sold.


Should I make a video about these things?

Monday, August 3, 2009

get it together. it's august.

Oi Ocha

This stuff is the best. I bought a 2L bottle of it today. I'm sipping it between sentences.

There. Just took a sip. Great every time.

So I'm coming down to the final days I have left in my decision-making. I'll know for sure about everything by August 10th, when I have my class registration appointment at my potential school. It all comes down to if I can finish a degree program in 2-3 semesters. Two years is just ludicrous. I did the college thing. Four times. I want my degree so I can do what/go where I want.

I have to crack down on my savings. All I spend money on is food. But it's a lot. I need to, you know, go grocery shopping and save that way.

Sigh. So lazy.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

"it's yucky in there. you don't want to go in."

One of the funnier moments of my week. Jessica and I went down to dinner, and when we were walking up to our building, a toddler was dragging his father by the hand towards the door. To avert his child's desire to enter the, admittedly, less than alluring door to our building, he said what is now the title of this post. Immediately, Jessica and I walked into our building while this child and father were still in front of it. We proceeded to laugh hysterically up the four floors into our apartment.

Three updates in a row. This is ludicrous.

Today is July 30th. It marks 8 months of talking every single day (a LOT each day) to one of my best friends. It's basically been a continuous conversation. I know I've mentioned it in previous blogs, and I definitely twittered it, but I decided I wanted to mention it again. It's been a wonderful 8 months of conversation. Here's to... the rest of our lives?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

'cause you're hot then you're cold

My Converse shoes are soaked all the way through.

That's about my only complaint for today. And I'm really not bothered by it.

Much like yesterday, let's look at today's twitters.

1. "Today's going to be a better day because I want it to be. On my way to my first day at the new job. Also, keeping my cereal toy forever <3" about 8 hours ago from txt
2. "I am currently using my brand new EnV3. It was free. It's BEAUTIFUL." about 3 hours ago from txt
3. "I did everything I needed to do today and more. I love it when a good day fixes (or helps) the worst day ever." 29 minutes ago from txt

I think it's safe to say that today has been the polar opposite of yesterday.

I went to orientation for my new job this morning for a few hours. It was on the clock. I'm pretty excited for this job. :)

OH. Here's a good one. I like to avoid the subway because walking is, well, really good for you. I walked up to visit Jessica at her work (and got seriously discounted candy!) and then walked down the East side to get home. I just happen to walk past the Verizon that I requested a replacement for my phone, but they had never sent it. They apologized for the inconvenience (they had forgotten to take down my apartment number) and tried to call around nearby Verizon stores who had my phone in stock to replace it instead of mailing me another one.

After 20 minutes of phone calls, the associate (Crystal, my homegirl) was like, "Here's what I can offer you. We can give you a brand new EnV3 phone, free of charge. Is that okay?"

...Is that okay? YES, IT'S OKAY. GIMME.

This phone is beautiful.


As far as school goes and my life decisions I have to make in the next 3 days or so, they're still haunting me. BUT I know whatever happens, I'll be okay. Even if it sucks. A lot. It'll be okay.

I mean, it was an awesome box of cereal, and now I have the toy at the bottom to keep, even if I threw out the box (random analogy that I don't expect anyone but Cade to understand, but I still love it so much).

Final thought: To everyone who commented, @replied me, DMed me, and texted me, thank you so much for the nice words. I really do genuinely appreciate them and it always makes me smile. <3

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

when you turn to twitter

What is it about twitter that makes us think it's a good idea to "tweet" (hate that word) all your whining and complaining?

I fell victim to twitter's overwhelming pull today. It wasn't the first time.

I sent three (thankfully only three. It felt like ten) dramatic messages to twitter today.

1. "This is neverending. I give up." about 8 hours ago from txt
2. "Found out some things. Discovered that this is quite literally the worst day of my life over the past year or so. Yayyy twitter." about 6 hours ago from txt
3. "I just bought a sandwich, brought it home, and when I opened it I saw it was moldy. This is almost funny because it fits my day so well." about 1 hour ago from txt

Hey, Sam? stfu. Sure, there are very legitimate reasons to be upset right now. I wasn't exaggerating when I said this is the worst day of my life over the past year. Really. I have some serious decisions to make over the next few days, and honestly, NO decision will keep me happy.


Here I am in my New York City apartment, enjoying air conditioning, having a lovely friend come over in an hour for Pinkberry (I love Samantha... as in a different redheaded Samantha than me), I start a new job in the morning, and I just ate Subway. Listen. I love Subway.

I'm not saying the clouds have parted and the angels have started singing and my day is instantly made wonderful. I'm just saying... I don't know what I'm saying. I'm still here, though, so that's a start.

Monday, July 27, 2009

anthony lowers my i.q.

I'm currently spending a few days at home in my parent's house in Pennsylvania. In these past few days, I've gotten a taste of how summer *should* be. I've seen a lot of friends I haven't seen in a while, relaxed, got TAN (...or kind of really pink that will eventually turn into a less-pale version of my Scottish self), and had no serious responsibilities with which to be concerned.

I'm in between jobs right now because I just couldn't bear to go back to Barnes & Noble. How dramatic. People hate their jobs all the time. I'm a baby and didn't want to deal with it.

I got into college to finish my degree (finally!). I took two nonconsecutive semesters off, so I have one more year left. I'm going to pull a cadegoestocollege and not publicly announce where it is I'll be going to school in the Fall.

Today was such a great day for the following reasons:

A. I got up at a decent hour and went to Allison's house (one of my best friends from my home town) and we chilled by the pool and swam. And yes, this is where my tan was achieved. Exciting.

B. I went and saw 500 Days of Summer with my parents (free movie!). It was VERY good. A little depressing, but a good movie. As I mentioned on my twitter, I give it a 8.7/10!

C. Tonight, I drove to my friend Anthony's house, and from there we drove to our friend Steph's house. We're all friends from Penn State. I had more fun than should be allowed. FOR SOME ODD REASON THOUGH, when I hang out with Anthony, I turn into a complete idiot. Really hard to explain, but it's so fun.

FUN STORY. We went to a restaurant and I didn't end up paying for my small order of fries, Irish Coffee, or Neapolitan Waffle Cone (alcoholic milkshake, pretty much) because the waiter was into me. He was cute, but I wasn't interested. Anthony decided I realized he liked me and milked him for all he was worth. NOT TRUE. I'm too nice for that. I'm just super friendly. Besides, I have a very specific type. You know. I would say around 5'5", long-ish hair, pretty eyes...

*rolls eyes* I'm gross.

Moral of the story: Being nice has its benefits.

Friday, July 17, 2009

i run a hotel

Zachary Me Cade Todd

I was starting to do so well at updating this blog, and then so much happened that it was too hard to keep up.

Now how do I start one?

Bulleted updates with limited explanation:

un. For 11 days, I had Cade (cadegoestocollege), Zachary (thatzak), and Todd (toddly00) staying with me. We adventured around the city, went to the 789 YouTube Gathering, the Bronx Zoo, my parent's house in PA, had an awesome dinner with Jeff of studentdotcom, checked out some fried goodness in Brooklyn with Lamarr (wilsontech1), etc.

deux. I attended a press screening of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince a week before the film was released.

trois. The day after seeing HBP, I attended a press junket for the film, and was in a small room with other press as some of the actors (Dan Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, Bonnie Wright) and filmmakers (David Yates, David Heyman, Steven Kloves, along with Michael Gambon) spoke and answered questions about HBP and the filming of part one of Deathly Hallows.

quatre. The day after Cade and Zachary left, Jazza (rhymingwithoranges) and Johnny (johnnydurham19) arrived. Todd is still here, but leaves Saturday morning.

cing. I have a boyfriend? I like the Brooklyn Bridge. (<3)

six. I'm in the top 4 of all of NYC being considered for a six-week internship with Butterfinger, with which I will essentially be paid to advertise in a (hopefully) fun way. I need the money. Don't judge me. I find out if I got it possibly as soon as tomorrow after a lot of interviews and a video submission.

sept. Zachary is seriously awesome. I want him to be around way more often.

huit. I'm quitting my job soon. It went downhill very quickly recently. Anyone wanna hire me? :P

That'll be all, for now. Life's been pretty hectic. Good, exhausting, busy, hard, fun. aka it's pretty much been... life.


EDIT: I haven't even mentioned that I went to Texas for a third time in a 7-month period about a month ago. That state just can't get rid of me.


ps. jessica.

Friday, June 26, 2009

most beautiful sky


This photo hardly captures how it really looked.

The entire city reacted the same way. Strangers on the streets started conversations about how all we've had is rain for over a month, and then this happens. The weather was beautiful. The breeze was nice. The most gorgeous sunset turned into this.

Grown men with strong, New York City accents were on phones trying to describe the sight. Imagine the following direct quotes with the aforementioned accent:

"They're like giant cotton balls in the sky."

"They're like tear drops falling from the sky." --No lie, the man who said this was still wearing boxing gloves.

People were awestruck, stopped every few feet on the sidewalk just staring at it. I've never seen so many iPhones out taking pictures at one time.

On top of this, I had a wonderful day. I worked all morning, finished my last errand of the week and came home around 2pm. I relaxed at home, took an hour-long nap, then went for FREE PINKBERRY with Jessica in Korea Town after checking out a three-story dollar store. Then we got Korean food for dinner (naturally). After, we went to another Pinkberry down the street from us.

A fantastic day.


Sunday, June 7, 2009

omg nph


Neil Patrick Harris as Barney on the show How I Met Your Mother (haven't seen it? WATCH IT).

So, my friend Kevin and I went to see Billy Elliot on Broadway two nights ago, and just before the lights went down, NPH ran down to his seat. His seat was 3 seats away from mine.

Let me tell you: This man is somehow more beautiful in person. I mean that honestly. He is quite the looker. Success for the gay male team.

Important fun fact: His real laugh during the show sounded very similar to Dr. Horrible's attempt at an evil laugh at the beginning of the Sing-Along Blog (Oh, you haven't watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog? Seriously. Get on that).

Here is my creepy picture that I was able to take from my seat. As explained in my most recent video, I didn't want to be one of the people asking for an autograph or something (autographs mean nothing to me. A conversation would have been enough). SO. Just this picture for now.


I had a really wonderful night. We saw Billy Elliot, I stared at NPH, and then we went to Junior's for dinner and a couple drinks. It was a wonderful end to the day my hair was chopped off [against my request]. RIP long curly hair. Grow back soon, please.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

jessica is dumb

We're watching Fight Club right now.

What's that guy's name?
Me: Edward Norton! Duh! What's wrong with you?!
Jessica: I don't know names! Sorry!
Me: Do you know HIS name?
-I was pointing at Brad Pitt. I was being funny. Like, HA WHO DOESN'T KNOW BRAD PITT.
Jessica: *shrug*
Me: ....wait.
Jessica: I just know faces.
Me: ...wait.
Jessica: WHAT?
Jessica: *shakes head vigorously*

This is what I live with.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

cable television


I feel like we've been living primitively. Today, we finally had cable set up with our tv. Honestly, I don't want to go work. I want to lay on the couch watching tv all day. I see nothing wrong with this. Unfortunately, I have to go to work. In fact, I should really get in the shower.


Television is neat.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

leakycon: successful

Leaky Ball

At some point when I am not about to shower and get ready for work (rare), I'll give a more italktosnakes-style rundown of my LeakyCon experience (although I'll condense it to one blog post, not 756).

For now, I'll just say that I feel like I finally did a Harry Potter conference right.

Friday, May 22, 2009

destination: leakycon

Class photo.
aka Terminus. Chicago. August 2008.

Since yesterday, most of my friends have been in Boston to attend LeakyCon 2009. Being a responsible, rent-paying, (workaholic) citizen, I'm not going until tomorrow afternoon.

Today, after a 9-hour shift at American Apparel (and a little retail-therapy that cost me virtually no money), I was able to pack. Do you know how hard it is to pack for one weekend trip? I'm used to at LEAST one week. Many times full months. I had to actually put on all possible outfits. I swear I'm turning into a girl. It's frightening. Listen, I even did my nails. That's when you know something is up.

I'm a little anxious about this weekend. Harry Potter conferences have been about being with the people we love and getting inebriated. I've separated myself (mostly) from that kind of lifestyle and plan to remain completely (mostly) sober the entire weekend. I know I have plenty of friends who won't be drinking, and I have faith in myself. There's still that whisper of doubt in the back of my head that says I'll be persuaded merely at the sight of people drinking and having fun. There are things (and people) that mean more to me than a drunken night though. So.

I can't wait to see everyone tomorrow. Some of my favorites won't be able to attend (ahem, Anna and Rosi and Hayley and Hannah, and I'm sure a few more). I miss their faces (although Hayley's has never been in front of mine IRL).

See you on the other side (of LeakyCon)!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

feed us

Jessica: I want a burrito.
Me: I can't afford a burrito.
Jessica: Why is food so expensive?
Me: Because we aren't hunter-gatherers.
Jessica: Shit. I'll gather.
Me: In New York City.
Jessica: I'll gather berries. But... I'd also like to gather burritos.
Me: Haha yes.
Jessica: Screw the berries. Give me a burrito.

I'm officially living on a few free packets of crackers at work, and then $1 slice of pizza down the block from me. I only had $0.75 today, so Jessica gave me a quarter.

First day at the second job went well. I think I like Barnes & Noble more. I mean, I definitely do. They're my homies (...homies?).

Money spent today: 75 cents.
Hours put in at work: 9.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

a real person's apartment

One of my flatmates, Jessica, and I, plus a glimpse into my previously unfinished bedroom. Sometimes, as the above picture proves, we put on dresses and dance.

Aside from some wall decorations, my bedroom is completely finished. It's furnished with a super comfortable bed, a dresser, 2 mirrors, curtains, and the most awesome desk (put together by Melissa, Angelo, and Rebecca)!

My parents came by today with my tv, stand, and DVD player. So. That's pretty sweet.

Money is so tight after having just bought all my furniture (I'm a real person!) and I have to pay rent in a couple of weeks. So. NO SPENDING MONEY. NONE. ZERO. That's right. It is NOT imperative that we get frozen yogurt at 11pm. Sigh. Life is so hard.

I start my second job on Monday. American Apparel. Yes, free clothes. Oh goodness, yes. I will be working 7-8 shifts per week, so, cue exhaustion. Also, cue money. :)

LeakyCon in 13 days, Texas in 32 days, Seattle in 39 days.


Thursday, April 30, 2009

the sweet taste of reality

Summer Tour 2007.

Every time I tell people who I've known for years that I can't understand the way I'm feeling right now, they all say the same thing: "You're growing up!"

Is that what this is? I like it.

So, as some may already know, this summer PotterCast, the Remus Lupins, and the Whomping Willows are going on a 6-week nation-wide tour. The initial plan was that I (as always) was going to be a part of this tour as "merch girl." Well, a couple of months ago I realized I was less enthusiastic at this prospect than usual. At first I decided I would join the tour two weeks late, so I would be with them the entire month of July. Soon after, I realized that the thought of going on another tour, living out of my suitcase, sleeping in hotels and friends' floors, eating whatever we passed on the highway... it all made my heart and mind race. Not a good feeling.

After I came to this conclusion, Jessica and Kelli and I began apartment-hunting in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. We had initially planned to move in August, but for many reasons, we're all ready now. We found a great apartment in our absolute favorite area of New York City, and we have officially moved in as of a week ago. We couldn't be happier with our living situation. Soon, our couch/tables/desks/chairs will be delivered for it to be truly complete!

I'm working full time, and will hear about a second part-time job within the next day or two. It's tiring, but having my own steady income with things I really want to spend it on, I'm quite happy with the way things are going in my life. I'm living in my favorite place in the world, with two amazing flatmates, as we call each other.

Long story short: I will not be going on tour this summer. And no Azkatraz either.

While I no longer crave the feeling of constantly being on the road, travel is not out of my system. NORTHWEST YOUTUBE GATHERING 2009 IN PORTLAND, OREGON. Heck yes! I'm going to SEATTLE a few days before to play with Kristina and Eia and our housemates (yes, I still consider them my housemates)!! We're all driving down with Katrina (miss walllofweird <3) and will spend the weekend in Portland. I'll get to see my brother in Seattle while I'm there too. I LOVE SEATTLE. I can't wait to be there again. VEGAN PIZZA AND THAI FOOD ALL THE WAY.

Before that, I'll probably be taking another trip to Texas. Don't judge me.

Also, LEAKYCON! I can't believe how soon it is. It's like, 3 weeks away or something ludicrous like that. I GET TO SEE KRISTINA AND EIA. I will scream.

I need to stop typing. I was going to make a video, but A. I'm tired B. I'm lazy and C. I look pretty terrible. This is the one time my flatmates aren't home, but I'm not in the mood to turn on the camera.

The three of us have the most ridiculous idea for a video though, that will either lose subscribers or lose respect. So. That will be interesting. I'm super excited for it anyway.

As always, I genuinely hope all is well with everyone!! <3

[5 months and counting]

Summer Tour 2008.

Side note: I just realized that friends from work may see this. They have twitter. And they are aware of my YouTube account. It's WEIRD. I'm getting over it though. If this is the case, HI BRADY AND RAINY AND LUIS. They're the ones with twitter, I don't think the others will see this!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

keep on keeping on

Santa Monica 2

Santa Monica beach with Jacob, Kimberly, Cade, and myself. It's been six days since I've returned from Texas, and I've worked each of these six days. It's been difficult, to say the least.

It could be worse. I'm working a mediocre full-time job with good people, keeping busy, doing what I really do love (though not enough to make a career out of it): making coffee. Sounds lame. Don't care. It's paying me.

Though I enjoy my job, I'd rather not be working. I'd rather be enjoying a steady flow of substantial income while I enjoy a lavish lifestyle of travel, shopping, new and exciting adventures, etc. I want a lot of things right now. A lot of things I can't have. Some of which I can have, but I lack the motivation, focus, and control to grasp.

Sometimes I feel out of control. This week, I've done nothing but work, eat, bite my nails more than anyone ever should, stress, avoid sleep, and all for what? No reason. I need to snap out of it. I can be the person I want to be. I can be the happy go-getter who doesn't become a lifeless unmotivated person at the turn of the hour. I'm riding a roller coaster when I'd rather just be soaring down an open highway (mmm sounds like a road trip. Is that why I go on so many? Have I just figured out the core of my existence?)

So our road trip took us from Houston, TX to Dallas, TX to Amarillo, TX to Albuquerque, NM to Flagstaff, AZ to Las Vegas, NV to Fullerton/Hollywood/Los Angeles/Santa Monica, California, to San Antonio, TX back to Houston. I'm sure I missed a few cities, but you get the gist.

Grand Canyon

My first time at the Grand Canyon. It looks like we're in front of a blue screen and not actually at the Canyon. It was beautiful.

I miss Texas and I miss Cade and Jacob and Kimberly and I miss Cade's parents and his house and his dorm and his friends and his dog and his family and his trampoline that Kimberly and I so gracefully jumped on the night before we left for our trip.


Friday, March 6, 2009

The below picture was drawn using the Facebook graffiti application by my friend Anthony, who felt it appropriate to (rightfully) compare me to Carmen Sandiego. It was a great comparison, if you ask me.


I am essentially sneaking out of my house to go to Texas this afternoon.

That's right. I'm returning to Texas. Sure, I left there less than a month ago. DON'T JUDGE ME. This time the trip is for 11 days, just 2 days more than the previous trip of 9 days. This time, a road trip is involved. Texas to LA to Texas. Pretty solid, eh? I'll definitely be calling some Potter friends along the way. It'll be weird to bring Cade and his 2 friends to the John/Andrew/Matt/Bre apartment (where we're staying for a night), but hopefully it'll be really fun :).

I hope everyone is well!!

Follow our trip, because we all know I'll twitter along the way!

Monday, February 23, 2009

oh hi

Oh how things have changed in the past 2.5 months.

molly and melissa
(Yes, this photo cuts me out of it. That's fine. Molly and Melissa are the pretty ones anyway!)

Because several of my friends begin blog posts with a photo, I'm jumping on that clever little bandwagon. The lovely Molly (mememolly) came to New York City this past week and stayed with me at Melissa's (pottercast and/or melissaanelli) in Brooklyn for a night. We spent a few days together in the city, including a delightful mini-tour of vegan cafes in the Village. Always a good time with Molly.

Since I last posted, I moved back home to Pennsylvania, continued my days/week-long stays with Melissa in Brooklyn, went on a 3-week tour with my friends Matt and Justin throughout the entire east side of the country, went to Texas to see my best friend for 9 days, and have just returned home to start settling down.

Or so I thought. It's a possibility I'm leaving again in 2 weeks. When will I sit still? Oh well. I can sit still when I start school again in the Fall, right?

Yes, school starts again for me in the Fall. Slow transcripts have caused me to miss deadlines to go to school this semester, so I'm off for now. Next year, I'll be in my last year of college in New York City, hopefully living with my friends Jessica and Kelli. They are always a good time. AND Jessica is the first person in the Harry Potter fandom who I met in real life (yes, in my mind I said "IRL" before typing out "in real life").

Pretty lame update. Because it's been so long, I'm going to end with a photo as well. The below photo was taken with Cade (cadegoestocollege) when I visited in Texas about a week and a half ago (even though it feels like a year).


I hope everyone is doing well!! <3 Oh, and happy new year!

PS. Toootally got partnered on YouTube last week. It doesn't mean anything, really, but it's fun to play around with.