keep on keeping on

Santa Monica beach with Jacob, Kimberly, Cade, and myself. It's been six days since I've returned from Texas, and I've worked each of these six days. It's been difficult, to say the least.

It could be worse. I'm working a mediocre full-time job with good people, keeping busy, doing what I really do love (though not enough to make a career out of it): making coffee. Sounds lame. Don't care. It's paying me.

Though I enjoy my job, I'd rather not be working. I'd rather be enjoying a steady flow of substantial income while I enjoy a lavish lifestyle of travel, shopping, new and exciting adventures, etc. I want a lot of things right now. A lot of things I can't have. Some of which I can have, but I lack the motivation, focus, and control to grasp.

Sometimes I feel out of control. This week, I've done nothing but work, eat, bite my nails more than anyone ever should, stress, avoid sleep, and all for what? No reason. I need to snap out of it. I can be the person I want to be. I can be the happy go-getter who doesn't become a lifeless unmotivated person at the turn of the hour. I'm riding a roller coaster when I'd rather just be soaring down an open highway (mmm sounds like a road trip. Is that why I go on so many? Have I just figured out the core of my existence?)

So our road trip took us from Houston, TX to Dallas, TX to Amarillo, TX to Albuquerque, NM to Flagstaff, AZ to Las Vegas, NV to Fullerton/Hollywood/Los Angeles/Santa Monica, California, to San Antonio, TX back to Houston. I'm sure I missed a few cities, but you get the gist.



My first time at the Grand Canyon. It looks like we're in front of a blue screen and not actually at the Canyon. It was beautiful.

I miss Texas and I miss Cade and Jacob and Kimberly and I miss Cade's parents and his house and his dorm and his friends and his dog and his family and his trampoline that Kimberly and I so gracefully jumped on the night before we left for our trip.

Sigh.